There may have been only one or two commenters that guessed this, but it turns out my boss wasn’t upset. He said he shouldn’t have been talking about his daughter like that at work and he didn’t realize how his comment about me sounded until I reacted like that. I wrote back to this letter-writer and said, “Thank you for this update, and for your good grace about the comments!
Then I apologized and told him that I was completely in the wrong to insinuate that about his daughter. He said he understood where that comment came from and that (remarkably) he didn’t take it personally. Thankfully, no other coworkers were within earshot (this happened in a conference room while waiting for some other coworkers to join us), and I don’t work with clients or customers anyway. I thought the word was normal and commonly used, because that’s how it was at home (the exact quote I blurted out was screamed at me countless times at home and I was called a whore several times a day by my teachers). To all of those saying my behavior is not Christian or that I am not a “true Christian”: I am well aware that Jesus was a friend of prostitutes, but Jesus is not all there is to Christianity. Also, I just wanted to say, I did not feel attacked at all by the comments. It appears some commenters think criticism of Christianity is an “attack” or “bashing,” but this is not so. I’m sorry you had that word screamed at you ever, let alone so frequently — that’s horrible and must have been a very difficult way to grow up.” She replied: “It was a difficult way to grow up *at the time*, but it kept me in line, and thus led me to become a better adult. (But we’ll probably disagree on that.)” While I do indeed disagree, I am deeply impressed with letter-writers who handle disagreement from a mob of strangers with this much grace.
In other words, retroactive jealousy as an “obsessive-compulsive disorder”.
And I suspect this is what’s brought you to this page. Good, then let’s kick off with a thorough definition of what retroactive jealousy OCD actually means, starting with “retroactive jealousy”.
Retroactive jealousy (sometimes known as retrograde jealousy, or retrospective jealousy) simply means an unhealthy interest in your partner’s sexual and/or romantic past.
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Obsessive-compulsive disorder in its classic definition is a mental state in which people are unable to control certain thoughts and behaviors.
If you do any research on the subject, you’ll find that the condition usually relates to people who have obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, such as: An obsessive thought is triggered by something, causing anxiety.
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They’re in the past, but that’s what makes them so painful because it’s obvious they shouldn’t matter.
A sufferer will typically try and force him or herself to stop, but this causes the mind to descend into a “don’t think about a pink elephant” type war with itself.
While most people may feel jealous at some point or other about their partner’s past, it’s only passing jealousy.