In their seminal book, “Often all the commitment-phobic needs to alleviate his anxiety is distance. If you believe him, the Pursue/Panic cycle can start all over again.
Thus, the feelings he has for you are free to surface in this non-threatening environment. The only difference, this time it’s faster.” You can’t believe the intensity of the love letters I received from my two commitment-phobes when I finally got strong enough to walk away.
The relationship is over, so he is no longer frightened. When that happens, usually the scenario is played out all over again.
You are however a likely candidate if you notice a trend or pattern in which you are the constant.
It took me years to notice a pattern in my relationships where I would get more scared the closer I got to someone.
If you’ve dated a commitment phobic man you might be very familiar with his Pursue/Panic Syndrome: He wants you. (I’ll illuminate my reactions in bold) “Shannon — I have so much to say …
Here’s a little taste of a letter one of my men sent.
I’d start finding all sorts of reasons why the relationship wouldn’t work.
When the relationship finally ended because of my unreasonable behaviour, I felt relieved and almost happy.
I thought I’d fill this gap by sharing my inside perspective, having lived with commitment phobia for a long time.