by Shelley Poston It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.
It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs. It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes.
Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? Proverbs -25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? If he would more readily spend a day on the lake than helping someone in need, this indicates where his heart lies.
It’s an good question that needs to be considered seriously. The same applies for sexual innuendo that is inappropriate before marriage.
If he is always broaching conversations about sex, he is not doing a good job of helping you to protect your mind against lust before marriage.
As Solomon, the wisest man of all, said, “For wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her”, (Proverbs ). A man who does not want counsel and hides from accountability is a man who is not ready to be open with a wife.
He may seem strong and independent, but he may actually be prideful.
Immaturity is a clear sign of emotional instability.
Here's how you can suss out if your man fits that bill...Neither of your bodies belong to each other until you say “I do,” (1 Corinthians 7:4), so it is wrong for a man to treat a woman as if he has free reign with her body before marriage.I think it is safe to ask this question: if a man is not honorable and pure before marriage, why would he be so afterward? However, if he could not keep his hands to himself before marriage, how do you know he will keep them to just you after marriage?Because so often, “Love is blind,” input and counsel from other people around you will be very helpful to spot positives or negatives in a relationship. All of these points, of course, you should prayerfully consider in your own life.If we as women are unwilling to be above reproach in these areas, why should we expect that from men?Spouse abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. Abuse is not only physical- it can also be emotional. If he is more concerned with worldly pleasure than pleasing God in being an honorable and responsible man, this is not the kind of man who will rightly point his family toward Christ-likeness. The Bible has a name for the guy who has the Peter-Pan syndrome: he is called “the sluggard.” Proverbs mentions him several times, including in Proverbs 6:9-11, which states, “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” What is this man’s work ethic? Is he unhealthily dependent on his friends or family?